Animated Atrocity - One Piece (4Kids Dub)

The note page wasn't big enough so let's rant some more shall we?

About the characters being fucked over, not only do they have unfitting voices, even their personalities have been changed.
Mr 3 went from sinister artist to bad comedian, Robin is a redneck (because cowboy hat I guess), Sanji went from smooth and suave to BROOKLYN RAGE, they cut out Usopp's character development in the Arlong Park arc, Luffy's voice has no volume control, Bon Clay went from hammy transvestite to a fucking wigger, Miss Father's Day is French (which is not only stupid but kind of racist considering she dresses in a frog-themed outfit), Miss Merry Christmas (or should I say Miss Groundhog's Day) went from fast talking granny to Drill Sargent, Wapol is Russian, Jango acts like he's from the 70s, Smoker doesn't fucking smoke (yet smoke still comes out of his mouth), Shanks is Cockney/Irish (I honestly can't tell, the voice acting is that bad), Mihawk is also French (because he looks like a musketeer guess).

Everyone talks in puns. Yes the original has puns, but they were at least clever/subtle and infrequent, every single character tells shitty jokes and makes terrible and childish puns. Yes the original has humor in it, but it knew when to be serious. In the 4Kids version, even when it's supposed to be serious, everyone's cracking jokes while goofy music plays. What is this, an Abridged Series?
Actually it kind of is (but not the good kind), since episodes are either edited together, made shorter or just removed completely which have lead to plot holes up the arse. Laboon the Whale is completely removed, which is fucking retarded considering the entire backstory of Brook (one of the Straw Hat Pirates, e.g. the MAIN CHARACTERS) revolves around him. The Little Garden arc is removed, meaning no Dorry and Brogy, Nami gets sick for no reason and Mr 3 pops up out of fucking nowhere.

The edits. Oh my sweet aunt Joanna, the fucking edits. I'm not kidding when I say that they are the stuff of legends. I've already covered Smoker (or should I say Chaser), no blood for a start, which is amazing considering Zoro in particular (a SWORDSMAN) receives effectively no wounds in this version, Some of the guns get changed into super soakers, Dalton's al-Qaeda style dynamite belt gets turned into an awkardly held sword, Sanji sucks on lollipops instead of smoking (even though he still holds it like a cigarette), the hilt of Mihawk's black sword is shortened (because it looks like a cross I guess), Mr 1 doesn't have his chest tatoo (which is a "壱" (Ichi) meaning "One"), Bon Clay doesn't have the mark on the back of his coat (which is "盆暮れ" (Bon Kure) meaning Bon Festival, the holiday for which he is codenamed after) then we have Helmeppo's gun-spring-hammer thing, seriously, what the fuck is that supposed to be?

Finally, the music. Well... this is the original theme of the anime (at that point): www.youtube.com/watch?v=A8aGYp…
Here's the 4Kids dub's opening theme: www.youtube.com/watch?v=RSe8D2…
O_O I... I've got nothing. A song about adventure being replaced with a rap? They're just taking the piss at this point.

You know what the ironic thing is? This dub was my first ever exposure to this series when I was younger, I watched it and thought "Wow, this is so stupid, but it's a funny-kind-of stupid. so I'll watch for a laugh", then after it went off the air due to low viewership, I was kind of disappointed, so I looked for it online. That's when I discovered the truth. I saw the original Japanese (with English fansubs) and I thought "Oh my God... This is the greatest thing I've ever seen! What the fuck happened to it?!" I fell in love with it. A few years ago, I heard that 4Kids lost the dubbing rights to it and it was picked up for a new dub by FUNimation, I thought "Please don't screw it up FUNimation" and I saw the new opening: www.youtube.com/watch?v=NdT3-R… and a few episode clips online, and I thought "Oh my God... They did it! They made a good One Piece dub!"
I rejoiced, but the months went by and then I learned that no station would pick it up due to the poor reception of the last one. That's right, the 4Kids dub was so bad, so godawful, so atrocious... that it destroyed any chance of it airing on UK television ever again. I will never again see my favorite anime on my television. I hope you're happy 4Kids Entertainment, I'm not going to say I'm glad you went bankrupt, but I will say I am not surprised.

One Piece (c) Toei Animation, FUNimation and formerly 4Kids Entertainment.